Typically, at the last minute I'm still agonising over the right dress. Help! Here's me first in dramatic red ...
And here I am in classic black ...
Hmm, elegant but safe. Do you think I could get away with this hot number ...?
I do look pretty good, if I say so myself - still got it, eh?
For the shoes, I'm thinking hot red is going to hit the spot
And thank God the bag arrived in the nick of time this morning ...
But help! My date for the ball has just arrived early - and he's drunk and dishevelled!
God, you can be so unreliable, Stephen. Oh well, at least he's dressed the part - even if his eyes are swimming out of focus and his hair's a mess. He's sitting in my front room now, burbling away - a sort of deep-voiced emittance of strangled, posh vowels with the occasional phrase recognisable to the non-upper-class ear -
eeeuuuuaaagh my club eeyaaaauuuyyyhhh most frightful -
well, perhaps no-one will notice. I shall make him some strong coffee and be away to make myself beautiful.
And lets be clear on this point, Stephen, I shall definitely be doing the driving tonight!
(Btw, obviously I did not take the photos myself for today's post. (Mary McCartney kindly popped round to snap me in the outfits above - such a poppet). Thank you Google image search)